New Baby

A whole new person. Bit much. New baby cards are overwhelmingly committed to clouds, tiny feet and something pathetic like “a bundle of joy”. We have respectfully chosen another path.

items: 12

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Bright pink card front with looping orange and pale pink abstract ribbon shapes, with the message: “I thought you only did anal.”.

I thought you only did anal.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “I would hate to be your parents.”.

I would hate to be your parents.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal grey card front with bright lime centred typography, with the message: “Why do you look like that?”.

Why do you look like that?

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal beige card front with a narrow centred typographic layout, with the message: “You shouldn't have done this.”.

You shouldn't have done this.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Bright green crumpled paper card front with realistic folds and texture, with the message: “Your life is over.”.

Your life is over.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Scratched iridescent CD on a vivid blue textured background, with the message: “This is the only good thing you've ever done.”.

This is the only good thing you've ever done.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “I hope this ends terribly.”.

I hope this ends terribly.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Teal card front with bold pale yellow centred typography, with the message: “Congrats, I guess.”.

Congrats, I guess.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “FFS.”.

FFS.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pastel pink card front with a retro computer window, geometric shapes and squiggly graphics, with the message: “I don't have a good feeling about this.”.

I don't have a good feeling about this.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “This is all you're getting.”.

This is all you're getting.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Bright pink card front with looping orange and pale pink abstract ribbon shapes, with the message: “Should've done a runner.”.

Should've done a runner.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP