New Baby

A whole new person. Bit much. New baby cards are overwhelmingly committed to clouds, tiny feet and something pathetic like “a bundle of joy”. We have respectfully chosen another path.

items: 20

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Bright pink card front with looping orange and pale pink abstract ribbon shapes, with the message: “I thought you only did anal.”.

I thought you only did anal.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal beige card front with a narrow centred typographic layout, with the message: “You shouldn't have done this.”.

You shouldn't have done this.

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “I hope this ends terribly.”.

I hope this ends terribly.

£3.00 GBP
Bright green crumpled paper card front with realistic folds and texture, with the message: “Your life is over.”.

Your life is over.

£3.00 GBP
Pale cream card front with bold blue centred typography, with the message: “It's not too late.”.

It's not too late.

£3.00 GBP
Pale lilac card front with burgundy typography, with the message: “You ruined your mum's fanny.”.

You ruined your mum's fanny.

£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “I would hate to be your parents.”.

I would hate to be your parents.

£3.00 GBP
Teal card front with bold pale yellow centred typography, with the message: “Congrats, I guess.”.

Congrats, I guess.

£3.00 GBP
Blue card front with glossy folded abstract shapes in shades of blue, with the message: “Do you think you'll swap it?”.

Do you think you'll swap it?

£3.00 GBP
Minimal beige card front with a narrow centred typographic layout, with the message: “Please do not fucking do this.”.

Please do not fucking do this.

£3.00 GBP
Bright pink card front with looping orange and pale pink abstract ribbon shapes, with the message: “Should've done a runner.”.

Should've done a runner.

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “Your mum got pregnant and now we buy you things.”.

Your mum got pregnant and now we buy you things.

£3.00 GBP
Mustard yellow card front with dark grey solid typography, with the message: “Grow up.”.

Grow up.

£3.00 GBP
Scratched iridescent CD on a vivid blue textured background, with the message: “This is the only good thing you've ever done.”.

This is the only good thing you've ever done.

£3.00 GBP
Pastel pink card front with a retro computer window, geometric shapes and squiggly graphics, with the message: “I don't have a good feeling about this.”.

I don't have a good feeling about this.

£3.00 GBP
Retro abstract card front with flowing orange, cream, pink and rust-coloured stripes, with the message: “Rather you than me.”.

Rather you than me.

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “FFS.”.

FFS.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “This is all you're getting.”.

This is all you're getting.

£3.00 GBP
Retro illustration of a beige CRT computer and keyboard on a turquoise and orange background, with the message: “Nope.”.

Nope.

£3.00 GBP
Black textured card front with a white wireframe globe, with the message: “Fucking boring.”.

Fucking boring.

£3.00 GBP