Birthday

Another year older. Wow. How brave. Birthday cards have been flogging "ageing like fine wine" and "you don't look a day over 21" for long enough. Nobody's laughing.

items: 25

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Close-up flash photograph of a face with dewy skin and dark hair, with the message: “I heard you've been jabbing.”.

I heard you've been jabbing.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Black textured card front with repeating white outlined typography creating a striped pattern, with the message: “Cunt.”.

Cunt.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “I would hate to be your parents.”.

I would hate to be your parents.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Bright pink card front with looping orange and pale pink abstract ribbon shapes, with the message: “I thought you only did anal.”.

I thought you only did anal.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pale cream card front with bold blue centred typography, with the message: “Bye forever.”.

Bye forever.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “Nonce.”.

Nonce.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pastel pink card front with a retro computer window, geometric shapes and squiggly graphics, with the message: “Even your cat thinks you're a cunt.”.

Even your cat thinks you're a cunt.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal grey card front with bright lime centred typography, with the message: “Why do you look like that?”.

Why do you look like that?

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Blue card front with glossy folded abstract shapes in shades of blue, with the message: “Stop wanking your dog off.”.

Stop wanking your dog off.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Bright green crumpled paper card front with realistic folds and texture, with the message: “Your life is over.”.

Your life is over.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Light blue card front with bold cream centred typography, with the message: “And your mum.”.

And your mum.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “I hope this ends terribly.”.

I hope this ends terribly.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “You deserve a good finger.”.

You deserve a good finger.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white photograph of a person walking, overlaid with a hand-drawn red oval, with the message: “Well done for getting over your depression.”.

Well done for getting over your depression.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “Have a birthday.”.

Have a birthday.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “A lovely dinner and a wank.”.

A lovely dinner and a wank.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Light blue card front with bold cream centred typography, with the message: “Every fucking year.”.

Every fucking year.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Retro abstract card front with flowing orange, cream, pink and rust-coloured stripes, with the message: “I shouldn't have.”.

I shouldn't have.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal pale lime card front with bold dark centred typography, with the message: “You're adopted.”.

You're adopted.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “FFS.”.

FFS.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white rear-view photograph of a person wearing a white T-shirt, with the message: “Your mum's a cunt.”.

Your mum's a cunt.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white rear-view photograph of a person wearing a white T-shirt, with the message: “Your dad's a cunt.”.

Your dad's a cunt.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “This is all you're getting.”.

This is all you're getting.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “I'm fucking your mum.”.

I'm fucking your mum.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “I'm fucking your dad.”.

I'm fucking your dad.

£3.00 GBP
£3.00 GBP