Birthday

Another year older. Wow. How brave. Birthday cards have been flogging "ageing like fine wine" and "you don't look a day over 21" for long enough. Nobody's laughing.

items: 38

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Close-up portrait photograph card front with lime green typography, with the message: “Happy birthday Virgin.”.

Happy birthday Virgin.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal pale lime card front with bold dark centred typography, with the message: “Death said maybe next year.”.

Death said maybe next year.

£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white rear-view photograph of a person wearing a white T-shirt, with the message: “Imagine surviving this long and still being you.”.

Imagine surviving this long and still being you.

£3.00 GBP
Bright green crumpled paper card front with realistic folds and texture, with the message: “Your age is starting to sound made up.”.

Your age is starting to sound made up.

£3.00 GBP
Pale lilac card front with burgundy typography, with the message: “You ruined your mum's fanny.”.

You ruined your mum's fanny.

£3.00 GBP
Pastel pink card front with a retro computer window, geometric shapes and squiggly graphics, with the message: “Remember when you used to live in your dad's ballsack?”.

Remember when you used to live in your dad's ballsack?

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “Your mum got pregnant and now we buy you things.”.

Your mum got pregnant and now we buy you things.

£3.00 GBP
Golden yellow card front with dark brown typography, with the message: “Someone gave birth to you.”.

Someone gave birth to you.

£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “Have a birthday.”.

Have a birthday.

£3.00 GBP
Mustard yellow card front with dark grey solid typography, with the message: “That's a lot of being alive.”.

That's a lot of being alive.

£3.00 GBP
Light blue card front with bold cream centred typography, with the message: “Every fucking year.”.

Every fucking year.

£3.00 GBP
Retro abstract card front with flowing orange, cream, pink and rust-coloured stripes, with the message: “I shouldn't have.”.

I shouldn't have.

£3.00 GBP
Black textured card front with repeating white outlined typography creating a striped pattern, with the message: “Cunt.”.

Cunt.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “This is all you're getting.”.

This is all you're getting.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal card front with a soft white background and blurred blue, purple and peach gradient, with the message: “I would.”.

I would.

£3.00 GBP
Light blue card front with bold cream centred typography, with the message: “RIP.”.

RIP.

£3.00 GBP
Mustard yellow card front with dark grey solid typography, with the message: “Grow up.”.

Grow up.

£3.00 GBP
Close-up flash photograph of a face with dewy skin and dark hair, with the message: “I heard you've been jabbing.”.

I heard you've been jabbing.

£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “I would hate to be your parents.”.

I would hate to be your parents.

£3.00 GBP
Pale pink card front with bold irregular blue typography, with the message: “A lovely dinner and a wank.”.

A lovely dinner and a wank.

£3.00 GBP
Pastel pink card front with a retro computer window, geometric shapes and squiggly graphics, with the message: “Even your cat thinks you're a cunt.”.

Even your cat thinks you're a cunt.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal white card front with a small centred typographic layout, with the message: “Hap bir.”.

Hap bir.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal grey card front with bright lime centred typography, with the message: “Why do you look like that?”.

Why do you look like that?

£3.00 GBP
Blue card front with glossy folded abstract shapes in shades of blue, with the message: “Stop wanking your dog off.”.

Stop wanking your dog off.

£3.00 GBP
Light blue card front with bold cream centred typography, with the message: “And your mum.”.

And your mum.

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “I hope this ends terribly.”.

I hope this ends terribly.

£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “You deserve a good finger.”.

You deserve a good finger.

£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white photograph of a person walking, overlaid with a hand-drawn red oval, with the message: “Well done for getting over your depression.”.

Well done for getting over your depression.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal pale lime card front with bold dark centred typography, with the message: “You're adopted.”.

You're adopted.

£3.00 GBP
Crumpled white paper cup on a textured pink background, with the message: “FFS.”.

FFS.

£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “I'm fucking your mum.”.

I'm fucking your mum.

£3.00 GBP
Graphic card front with stepped lime, hot pink and black colour blocks, with the message: “I'm fucking your dad.”.

I'm fucking your dad.

£3.00 GBP
Psychedelic card front with a large illustrated red mouth, teeth and colourful retro shapes, with the message: “You post too much.”.

You post too much.

£3.00 GBP
Black textured card front with a white wireframe globe, with the message: “Fucking boring.”.

Fucking boring.

£3.00 GBP
Minimal grey card front with bright lime centred typography, with the message: “Please tell me I'm adopted.”.

Please tell me I'm adopted.

£3.00 GBP
Teal card front with bold pale yellow centred typography, with the message: “I would hate to be your kids.”.

I would hate to be your kids.

£3.00 GBP
Retro illustration of a beige CRT computer and keyboard on a turquoise and orange background, with the message: “Nope.”.

Nope.

£3.00 GBP
Black-and-white photograph of a person walking, overlaid with a hand-drawn red oval, with the message: “You ain't that straight.”.

You ain't that straight.

£3.00 GBP